Personal project "Subjective. Now"
gallery “ArtBasement”, Kharkiv, 2018
The project "Subjective" is a long-term observation – it is a search for hidden content in own behavior - the impact of fears and social patterns on decisions and actions. The fixation of the consciousness, paralyzed by the fear, when procrastination and the desire to hide from the world starts up. Destructive behavior and devastating loneliness moments. By revealing such moments, I construct a recognizable but multidimensional image that legitimizes suppressed subjective feelings.
The project "Subjective" is constantly supplemented and evolving. Each individual part is a question that has been asked to myself during the last two years and for which there is no clear answer yet.
The presented project "Subjective. Now" is part of this observation.
It is divided into three parts – “Memory vertical”, “Someone” and “Archeology”.
Through the prism of my own experience, I deal with the question of "parents - children - the relationship of generations", "finding true yourself ", and "a trace of history." The time narrative "Once-now-then" is considered and the subjective feeling of the moment of present and past / future is analyzed.
Memory vertical
The project is based on the re-understanding of family ties and their role in life.
From birth we are tied up with the relatives by visible and invisible threads, which during the child separation become very obvious. This process determines her possibilities and decisions in an independent life. The exposition sets out a way from raising family relationships issues, accommodation of separation to adoption of its own disunity.
For a woman, the non-returning point in the separation from the family is marriage – a happy and at the same time a tragic moment of transition from one family to another, own one. There is a fear of losing touch with history appearing, there is a gradual departure from traditions and the creation of new ones ...
Everyone determines for himself the value of family memory, but its trace will always remain, regardless to the nationality, age, place of residence etc.
An elusive gesture - the cooking of dumplings - is repeated on family reunion. It is an unspoken tradition, it shows the connection - communication, jokes, discussion of plans for the future, etc. Defined object - a small, rounded form of product from a non-yeast dough with a variety of filling - has more meaning than traditional feasts.
As an innocent sacrifice, you allocate time for your family, even when you can not explain the cause of that inner need. At one moment, memory and communication become a burden, and separation is performed sharply. But traces of flour will always be on the clothes ...
Someone
When the long search for own "trueness" begins, fear to find it appears. At the junction with society, the value and, at the same time, the fragility of own self shows up. A "refinement" of personality in accordance with current norms occurs. Intangible moments of weakness become to be manipulation and persecution tools. For the environment, this is "waste from manufacturing", "defect", because they do not fit into the usual limitations. Sometimes depressed internal impulses burst into an anonymous cry about the most intimate. Anonymity is a means to save sincere expression without being subject to direct condemnation. A diary as a means of being heard and to hear myself, to remain nobody, exposing to show life from the inside. To try to stand out, remaining invisible. The desire to be true, heard and accepted. The project is a reflection of the public anonymous statement sincerity and the search for this "trueness" in own actions. It does not exalt a personality, but only wants to remind about the personality. "Trueness" emphasizes attentiveness to the environment and to self, thereby moralizing the society. It teaches to empathize. What happens to you when you are alone? Can you afford to be true?
Archeology
Any decisions / changes / actions have a result.
First blurred, imperceptible, over time it crystallizes in a clear trace that specifies a certain period of time.
The memory of people / about people fades very quickly.
Time wipes out traces, veils history and produces legends. Conservation of results – the opportunity to give material for reflection to the new generation, to transfer quality experience.
How much the trace we leave, is it strong and worthwhile?
Will it withstand the change of environment?
Can it be the material for creating new narratives?
It is worth the salt from which it was created?
